Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died. Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because he was to fat. Why did the snake fall out of the tree? I don't know everything, Bitch!

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There was once a man named Larry. Larry was an office worker for a paper company. One day when Larry was counting papers he got a papercut on his left hand. Therefore his finger began to bleed as he sat in agony. What did Larry do next? He got up and got a band-aid. Larry continued his paper work at his desk.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Q: What did the banana say as it was being eaten? A: Nothing. Bananas are inanimate objects and therefore are incapable of talking.

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What did Sally want for Christmas? Nothing, she is Jewish.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? A basketball.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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ok

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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Weebles wobble, but paralyzed kids fall down.

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What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

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Why did the black man die? Kidney Failure.

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identical jokes get different votes.

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What did the boy call the man that kicked the cat? "Sad twat"

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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what happened when the shoe turned into a shoe.......... nothing, it was a raisin

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Yo momma's so ugly that she could not find another partner after the tragic death of your father

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Why was Sally angry? Because somebody burned all her clothes

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Q:whats the wost thing that can happen to you when you find something? A:not finding something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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