What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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Your mother's so ugly she has low self-esteem

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

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What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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Hey, you know what would be funny? A joke.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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how many jews fit in an oven? none, its illegal to put a person in an oven....

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why did the African cross the road? Because he was searching for his family after his village was massacred by rebel soldiers.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? a bench is a structure designed for sitting and a Mexican is a person born in Mexico.

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What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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