why couldn't the man play frisbee? he was a dog

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender. And there was nothing funny about that.

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How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

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Ernie: "Hey Jim, how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop?" Jim then breaks down and cries deeply at Ernie's question as the fact that he was born without a tongue continues to slowly tear him apart.

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There was a Jewish man and a German man why was it akward? Because one of them farted

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What has got 56 eyes, 1 leg and 3 arms ? I don't know but that's right behind you.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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How to trick hundreds or religious people to drink cyanide? You establish a religious community in which you establish a ritual of drinking Kool-Aid once a day and one day switch the Kool-Aid with cyanide.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Her frustrated farmer lured her with bread crums in hopes of retrieving his beloved chicken.

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Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

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What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What did the farmer say to the duck? I don't know, but the duck doesn't give a f.....

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two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Yo' Mommas so poor, She has to ask close family friends and relatives for money so she can feed you.

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Hey, guess what. What? ... Hello? Sorry, I don't talk to strangers.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How do you get Jake snow to shut up? Say shut up

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A smart kid just answered a question in class, a blonde girl then says "Nerd, your always answering all the questions". The teacher then says "Hey thats not nice, he could be your boss one day." The smart kid quickly replies "Highly unlikely, i do not plan on being a pimp when i grow up".

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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whats yellow after cani...nathan

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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