What is black and white and red all over? I don't know. I was hoping you did.

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A man walks into a barbershop. He gets a crew cut and leaves.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What's blue and looks just like water? Water.

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Q. What do you call a black pilot A. A pilot

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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what do you call white people running down a mountain? Avalanche What do you call black people running down a mountain? Jailbreak

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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what's the best way to get your younger sibling to stop being annoying? Shoot Him

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Your mother is so old, she could easily be considered a senior citizen.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? You eat them.

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My uncle said to me that life is like a box of chocolates But I'm lactose intolerant

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Who won the race? I don't know look it up.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver comes into the bar and gulps down the guys drink and the guy starts crying the lorry driver says "dont cry ill buy you another" thee guy sas "it's not that today i woke up late for work and when i got there i got fired and then when i went to go home feeling depressed my car doesnt startand so i walk home and i find my wife in bed with the gardener and so i came here to die but you drank my poison"

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

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What's good about having alzheimers? You meet new people every day!

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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what do you call your mom? mom

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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