what did liam weir ask ethan. how much charge do you have

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A Pole walks into a Pole. They chatted for a while, talking about the good old times they had had together in Poland. They soon finished their conversations, and went seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down

Chuck Norris witnessed a crime.What did he really witness? A Jehovah's witness. xD

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the three-leaf clover say to the four-leaf clover? "FREAK!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than being a Jew in 2010? Being a Jew in 1942.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why did the black guy enjoy anal sex? Because he has a phobia of vaginas and only likes to have anal

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Three guys and 4 Catholics are in a bar. They guys are making a joke. The first one says I'm gonna go to Oregon there's no Catholics there and the second one says I'm gonna go to Ohio there is no Catholics there and the third one says I'm gonna go to Alaska there's no Catholics there and one of the Catholics walk up and say how about you go to hell theres no Catholics there.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What's long brown and sticky? S**t

thumb_up thumb_down -52

How do you starve a Mexican? Deny him access to food stamps

thumb_up thumb_down -62

3 out of 4 questions. The lion king was holding a meeting and every animal was there except for one. What animal wasn't there? The elephant. It was still in the fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -116

Why did the cheeseburger have seeds on its buns? Because it wasn't a taco.

thumb_up thumb_down -126

why couldn't max ride his bike? because max is a goldfish.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Q: What did the bulbasaur say to the charmanderr?? A: bulbasaurrr

thumb_up thumb_down +63

what did the hungry Ukrainian man say to his mother? "? ????? ???????? ?????????? ? ????. ?? ? ??????? ? ??????"

thumb_up thumb_down +55

A man comes home from work and find his wife in bed with another man. They realize that they have grown apart over the past few years, and start attending therapy in an ultimately unsuccessful attempt to reconnect with each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

You're on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's the diffrence between a pizza and a black man. One is human being while the other is an inanimate food source.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A blonde, a brunette, and a ginger all die in a car accident. Their souls all go to heaven. Nevermind, only the blonde, and brunette's souls went to heaven, since everybody knows, gingers don't have souls.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a Muslim woman driving a plane? First, you don't "drive" planes you "fly" them. Second, you should address her as Ma'am, Captain, or Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Like my status for a tbh?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops