What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

Why can't basketball players play hockey? Because hockey and basketball season occur at the same time.

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

Why did the pony say neigh? That`s all he can say

What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

Why did the police officer pull over the black person? He made a traffic infraction.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

How do u wake up lady gaga You go into her room and yell at her

Stick figure says to the artist "Can't you make it any bigger?" Artist:"No, I ran out of lead?"

why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

How do you kill a blonde? By irreparably damaging a major organ. The same way you kill anything else.

What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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