man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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did u hear the one about helen keler neather did she

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What is invisible and smells like cheese? Cheese. I lied about the invisible part, because cheese is not invisible.

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

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mike:what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas tom:cancer ahahahaha mike:he got a skateboard jerk nararrator: this skate board will be worth less because he has no legs

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Why do women live longer? Because they work weaker.

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When life throws knives at you, run away.

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Jims family is having a picnic. Jim goes and gets his food. shortly after he drops his food. Jim is really sad and goes and gets more food. Jim is black

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what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

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Why are asians such bad drivers? Cause they constantly have their eyes closed.

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Who made it down the cliff first the blonde or brunet? The brunet, the blonde had to stop for directions

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Jesus walks on water Chuck Norris swims through land

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Dad: hi son Kid: (looks sad and looks at the ground) Dad: what's wrong son. Kid:I raped a girl. Dad:Who? Did you rape son! Kid:mom.

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Why couldnt the man buy food? Because.

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HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

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What starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'? Porn....

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Half a shit.

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What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

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Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have five fingers The third one's for you

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There was a black person running down my street. He was celebrating because he just graduated from Harvard University.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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