Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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What is not a car park? Clash of clans

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What do you call a group with one Jew and three Germans? Friends

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What happens when you cross a porcupine, a beaver, a duck, a go-cart, a dinosaur, a star, a cheap "Big 'n Beey" bathroom, and the cookie monster? Justin Bieber. XD

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Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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There was once a family of termites. There was a Papa termite, a Mama termite, and a baby termite, called Motor. One day they reached a big fat log, and they decided they'd bore through. So first went Papa. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Papa! Next came Mama. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out came Mama! Last came Motor. Bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore bore...then out bored Motor!

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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what do u call a Muslim flying a plane??? 9-11

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe, When he woke up one night he discovered with fright, That the friendly old neighbor from next door had broken into his house with a chain saw in an alcohol-induced murder attempt.

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Knock Knock. In about 10 seconds you'll be trespassing on my property, I suggest you leave immediately. Your suppose to say who's there.

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Q: How do you confuse a blonde? A: You tell her an anti joke

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How can you tell two twin sisters apart? Look at one twin, then look at the other, and acknowledge that they are two different people.

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What did the man say when he was stabbed on the street? Nothing, because he died.

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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What's tall, has a really long neck, and eats leaves? My tall vegan neighbor's giraffe

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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Knock Knock Whos there Me Oh, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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