a little boy goes down stairs on xmas day he has three presents the first one was a pair of socks the second one was a football and the third one was shin pads the boy was now crying really loud santa is outside laughing why? the boy has no legs

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

im saul and i love cock

pady irish man paddy english man and paddy african man go on a magic slide wat ever you say will be at the bottem paddy irish man said gold paddy english man silver paddy african man almost fell off so he said shit buthalf way down he thought it was fun so he said wee

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! Got any grapes?" The man then realized he was hallucinating because ducks are unable to speak proper english.

Okay, this is a real joke: A guy slips on a banana and falls down in the most funny way ever, so a girl nearby starts laughing when she suddenly realizes the guy is bleeding profoundly, so she runs over to help, but it turns out the blood was just ketchup so... Just then they both got run over and killed by a car.

-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

What do Whitney Houston and MTV have in common? They both REALLY died in the 90's.

Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

Did you hear about the sick juggler? Turns out he had cancer on his brain tumour.

Howdy stranger.... It is time for you to join! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! SO TOTALLY FUN UNIT! Moral: "HEY YOU! STFU! STFU! STFU! STFU!"

Yo mama so stupid, she should be worried about Alzheimer's disease.

What's the difference between a clown and a dead baby? One makes people laugh and the other is a clown.

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

hers a joke... japanese people

*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I am a dog.

the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

What's worse than a dead baby? A baby.

What did the follower of Neronism say to the follower of Christianity? Nothing, Neronism doesn't exist. -KyuremCult

Knock, knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who?

Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it wasn't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish

A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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