Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

How many people does it take to drive a car? 1 person

How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

what do you call a black man who bakes bread? a baker. you racist.

It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

a black man is chasing a white man,, "sir you dropped your wallet'!!

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

Why do i love this website? Because it is funny.

How can you tell if a man has an erection? His penis is no longer flaccid

Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

The continent of Africa is mired in corruption, poverty, food crises, disease, and the exploitation of its resources. Happy Kwanzaa

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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