Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was struck by a car and killed instantly by the impact.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive Umm, She's dead

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A mountain goat walks into a bar, the bar mans asks ''so, what will it be?''. The other customers question the mental integrity of the bar man, as goats cannot talk.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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what is red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket Waht is blue and looks like a bucket? (99% of the time they will say "a blue bucket") No, a red bucket in disguise!

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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Q: What do sleeping pills and coffee have in common? A: Absolutely nothing

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How do you make a white girl commit suicide? Bully her.

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why did Susie fall of the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who`s there? not Susie

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Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

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Sigh, at times like this I begin to ponder what I am doing with my life. I do not look that much like some anime character thingie, she is awfully cute for a anime character though.

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This is a haiku. Not a very good haiku, But still a haiku.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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Q: If you are debating whether to smoke marijuana, consider: what will your mother say when she finds your corpse? A: As a relatively harmless and non-addictive substance, Marijuana was most likely not the cause of my child’s death. It was probably AIDS.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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Why did children rejoice when Michael Jackson died? Because they were at a birthday party, and only heard about his death afterward.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops