A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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Why wasn't my friend laughing at my jokes? Because his grandpa is dying.

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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What's the difference between a dead baby and my dinner??? Nothing...

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, he'd be really really old.

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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Q: How do you count the population of Mexico? A: Take a census.

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Why did the mother stop breastfeeding her son? Because he was twenty five.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

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Hi i love black men so much and i am a jewish faggot bye

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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