How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -None, they will pay for somebody else to do it

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Hi, this is Luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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Why didn't the black lady become a doctor? After being awarded a Guggenheim Achievement Grant for film, she decided rather than going to school for her doctorate to instead spend time traveling in India, doing service work with the country's rather large homeless population.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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Why did Harry Potter go to meet Professor Lupin? --Because he wanted to practice casting his Patronus

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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What do you call a dick with blonde hair? Joffrey Baratheon.

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Two fish are in a tank. The first one says, "How the heck do I drive this thing!".

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, why the long face. The horse replies, neigh.

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a child swallows a cleaning product, why is he given chocolate milk? to make him happy before he dies

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Roses are red, Your blood is too, Don't believe me? I WILL CUT YOU

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What do you get when you cross a chicken and a dinosaur? You can't. Dinosaurs are extinct.

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your mom is so ugly, when she throws a boomerang it doesn't come back

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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save me from the nothing ive become

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~Chinese Anti Joke~ What is the difference between American army and Chinese army? American army teach youngsters to use their tanks. Chinese army smash youngsters with their tanks.

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What's the difference between a dead dog lying in the middle of the street and a dead black man lying in the middle of the street? The physical differences you would commonly expect to be between a human being and a dog.

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What's big and purple? Barney

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A blind woman was watching tv. think about it

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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