A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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They usually say "fuck" the police! But no one wants to fuck the police...

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Roses are red Violets are blue Carnations are cheap and they will not get you a blow job.

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Im gay What about you

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Whats the worst part about being fat. Your fat.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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what did one paper football say to the other? did you get flicked off too.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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Your so gay, that you like men!

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says what will it be? The duck replies "lemonade!"

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

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What is the deferince between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What's did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

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A woman walked out of the kitchen.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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If a small quiz is a quizicle then what is a small test? A quiz.

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What's the difference between a Lawyer and a hooker? Job description, income, and an incredibly large list of other things.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender lights him on fire.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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