How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

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Q.what is worse than finding a worm in your apple? A.finding two worms.

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Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

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If you were a pie I'd eat you

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The new Minons film reminds me of most foreign films.. You can't undertand a fucking word they say and they're all yellow

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I'm going to rewrite history. History.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The other color on our flag is white I'm an American and rhyming doesn't matter

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to have some hanky panky , but silly Jill forgot her pill so now there's little Frankie...

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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Sam Hengal.

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How do you get into USA from mexico? Climb a fence

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Boy: "But I don't wanna visit Grandma!" Mother: "Shut up and keep digging."

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two penguins are hanging out in Antartica. the one looks to the other an says "man its really cold out" the other quicky waddles away because of the strange alien sound its friend just made

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops