What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Say, "I have a really nice knock knock joke, but you have to start." To someone. They say knock knock You say who's there! and walk away.

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i committed murder

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

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A black child gives away his piece of fried chicken. He is allergic, and eats some watermelon instead.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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What do you say to a black guy who is holding a gun to your head? Nothing. He is holding a gun to your head.

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What the heck are you gonna do if you're on a picnic and have an ice cream and then the ants crawl on the ice cream, what are you gonna do? You're gonna eat the ants because it's made out of protein.

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A cow walks down the stairs. Not really. They are incapable of walking down stairs. It actually died on the roof.

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what is funnier then this joke? A jewish muslim that is asian, balck, and mexican,and is woomen crossing the border then geting shot and hung by a rope of dead babies

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the little boy got in a ice cream truck he cant sit down anymore

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A Jew, Christian and a Muslim walk into a bar. They have fun there a good time and then they go home.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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What does a cookie and the twin towers have in common? They both crumble.

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?' The horse says "I was just diagnosed with testicular cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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