Gustavo Andrade

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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What happened to the dog that ate to much? It became obese.

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How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

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How do you get a bunch of baby guts out of a bathtub? A lot of tostitos.

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Q: Hey, ask me if I'm a tree. ".. Are you a tree?" A: No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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A: How can you tell a tree is an aspen? B: 'Cause of the way it is.

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What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone. He proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Joe:Hi Steve how was your day? Steve:Fine why do you ask? Joe:Because I am gay. Steve:Well if you are so happy tell your sister.

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What's both fun and a scam? -The holocaust

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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Your father must be an alien because he's driving a UFO

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Wanna hear a joke? Fifa price ranges.....:(

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Steven and Daniel are playing with super soakers in the back yard. Steven says to Daniel: "You can't squirt me!" Daniel says to Steven: "Yes I can!" Daniel is HIV positive.

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why did the man ride the helicopter,because he was hurt horrible in a car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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