Justin Port#$ falls out of a tree. What happens? he breaks his neck and unfortually dies a long painful death.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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What do you get when you cross a taco with a a bungee cord? An inedible taco.

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Ich bin nicht der Anführer

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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What's worse than getting struck by lightning? Getting struck while your in your house!!

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Why did the little girl cry? The little girl cried for mercy as her attackers violated every inch of her innocent body, tearing her up from the inside until her organs were forced out of her anus and blood squirted from her ears as the pressure inside her body exceeded to a maximum. After the attackers were done with the corpse, they cut off her limbs and stapled them to her head.They placed her now decomposing body on the front porch of the worried parents' house and rang the doorbell.

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What did the kid with turrets say? Many swear words but he can not be blamed for this because he has a disease that make him unable to control many of the things he says.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? Because she was very careless and swung too high.

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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What did the dog say when the tiger bit him? Nothing. Dogs don't talk.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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i committed murder

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Three baby seals walk into a club...

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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What do you get when you cross a bungie cord and an owl? My ass :)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple, the enslavement of blacks over hundreds of years.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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