what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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What did the cowboy say when he went into the car showroom in Germany? He commented on the models and designs, and asked to try a few out. Then he left, saying he would consider buying one but didn't want to commit too suddenly or too soon.

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Q: If 0+0=2 and four shampoo bottles is equal to two toaster strudels, how many pizza slices can Samuel eat? A: Winter because grass=6

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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Why did the man soil himself at his daughters wedding? Because he has an enlarged prostate and has trouble sitting down for long periods of time.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Whats black, white, and read/red all over? What? Michael Jackson after his surgery.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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Ask me if I am a Truck Are You a Truck No

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? jhdfsuigtreyuiertfguiryhg

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What's white and is your slave? Your computer.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? She was blind.

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

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why did the skeleton cross the road ? because it wanted too. lolz

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This joke is not funny, So don't read it.

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PIED NINNY!

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's blind and deaf, any situation with her in the drivers seat of a car would have serious implications.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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