what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

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Ben Affleck

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How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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What did little Jimmy get for Christmas? Presents because he wasn't poor.

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

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Why did the business man jump into a mud puddle? He didn't. He was brutally stabbed to death then thrown in a pigpen in an attempt to conceal the evidence.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

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This time I saw it, so that is covert hypnosis, I mean normally people are aware that they are under a trance, but like now it was like huh? Until the last point there. You used caps in order to make it seem as if you where shouting, the mind reacts that way and bam! The hypnotic state leaves... ...I was kinda beginning to enjoy that... Nice, now I totally do not want to eat this thing, strawberry my butt.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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How much does a polar bear weigh? About 800 pounds

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Q. Whats blue and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket Q. whats green and looks like a bucket? A. a blue bucket in disguise.

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tiger woods played golf against peyton manning and yet tiger still cant win.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin Holy shit a talking muffin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Exercise

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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