Your mama is so poor that she is on welfare, but she is ashamed to tell you and cries herself to sleep every night.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

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How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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knock knock. no one's home..

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You are on a street. there are 4 houses, a red one, a blue one, a green one, and a white one. The red man lives in the red house, the blue man lives in the blue house. the green man lives in the green house. Who lives in the white house? The president

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What is white a can't climb up a tree? A fridge.

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Why was the Catholic priest incarcerated? 2 counts of child pornography and 3 counts of sexual abuse with a minor. Since he is now released, he's working as a janitor of an elementary school.

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"Do you know the joke about the No and Me Neither?" "No..." "Me neither."

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What do you call a three legged man? Horribly deformed

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(Knock knock) A:who is it? B:its the police open up where coming in B:I SAID OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR A:(SHIT)

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How did the little boy survive war? He respawned at his teams side of the map

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was mercilessly beaten by his mother.

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but hears my number so call me maby .....7 days

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Who killed Lincoln Nobody knows

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Arent you my dark knight in black armor, you would seriously put your life on the line for my sake?

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Why couldn't Prince William go to the party? Because his WIFE bought tickets to the f**cking ballet.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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God said "let there be light" Chuck Noris said "say please

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Have you seen stevie wonders house? Nope... Neither has he

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what is darker than black?... YOU

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Knock knock. Whose there. Uninterupting black lady. Uninter.... MMMMMMMHHHHMMMM. Black ladies never listen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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