a fat girl walks into McDonalds....

What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

A guy who's father of eight children, married to a wonderful woman for fifty years, he likes pizza and spaghetti, he smokes cigars occasionally, he also exercises : He runs around the block every other day. He's the manager of a pizza shop and he's living in a two-floor house he calls his home... Nothing really funny happens to this guy, but that's got to be the most detailed character background in a joke ever.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

Why did the black man fall asleep? because he was tired.

Q)whats pink and fluffy A)pink fluff

Why did the cow eat the grass? Only thing he had to eat.

A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer, pays, and leaves.

Why is Kayne West such a jerk? He has autism.

why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to a chicken

How did the leukemia patient die? He was shot in the leg repeatedly until he died of blood loss.

What did the atheist say when he was in the church? The eulogy for his best friend.

What's green and has four wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

Why can't women drive? Actually, they can as long as they legally acquire a driver's license and have no existing restrictions.

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

Why did the pilot crash the plane? It was a tomato.

i have cancer

What's bad for your teeth? A brick

Why is this website funny? Because it has jokes on it.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

Your mother is such a whore that she has consensual sex with a lot of people...

whats the difference between a chicken and a grape? there both green exept for the chicken

(in a retarted voice) i want to go to disneyland

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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