A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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What happens if Pinocchio says "My nose is about to grow." Nothing, Pinocchio was a fictional character created by Walt Disney.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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What is bright yellow and tastes like Gatorade? Antifreeze

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What do you call a black guy with a shotgun? A fine American citizen exercising his 2nd Amendment right.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, your entire family is dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have to go to the bathroom...

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Actually it couldn't even walk because of all the hormones they injected into it in order to genetically enhance it's size and flavor.

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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whats worse then falling on the ice? -getting raped by a blue whale

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Roses are gray, violets are gray, everything's gray, bitch im a dog.

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

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why did Timmy fall off the the slide? he was hit by a plane why was Jimmy laughing? he watched Timmy get hit by the plane

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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What did one snowman say to the other? Hmm...smells like carrots.

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Why does an Irish cop wear a belt? To hold up his pants.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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What do u call a guy that loves the color blue? A smurf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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