A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Why was little timmy's arm crooked His mom tried to pull his arm off.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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a young mother calf named near reality was milking itself and selling it at pathmark everyday for high prices he got a lot of money out of it and bought a big mansion where he also had a farm and collected prize show cows to show off to all of his cow friends.... he also bought gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons and gallons of prize show cow milk to drink to and build up energy for the cow show race coming up in the near fall. Every sunset he buys loads of milk to drink and feed his plants with. He plants lots of grass every day to eat and produce high quality milk goods. He was a wii, ps3, and xbox360 to play everyday and excercise his udder milk.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 rapes people

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What do you call a watermelon in Africa? A watermelon.

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What did the homeless get for Christmas? Nothing By Nathaniel c

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Why did Aodhan not come into school? He was sick.

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whats worse than getting a fail on your math test? Getting shot.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? A Jew is a person either born into or converted to Judaism, and a Pizza is a disc shaped, oven baked bread typically topped with tomato sauce and cheese.

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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one animal there and it was a dog. It was a shitzoo

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Q. What's funnier than an anti-joke? A. Thousands of anti-jokes, compiled on a worldwide network.

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Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone? A. He got attacked by a dog.

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Your mother." "Your mother who?" "Really?"

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What is white and can't walk? A PVC Pipe.

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Why did the creator of Anti-Joke.com make the website? Because he probably wanted to promote his book and make more money.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The IRS, you're being audited.

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Why did the student fall asleep during class? He was very tried from staying up too late.

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Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Just open the damn door

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How many hispanics does it take to screw in a light bulb. One. Just one. You just screw it in, it's not that complicated.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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