Your mommas so poor she can't afford food for her child. Thats you.

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roses are grey, violets are grey, i dont have any cones, just rods.

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What's a vampire's favorite subject in school? Probably math.

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Why did the vegetarian only work one day? Because her co-workers are cannibals.

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What did one terrorist say to another? You first.

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What’s green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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Why was six afraid of seven You would be scared to if your name was six and you knew someone named seven

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall red? depends on how hard you throw em

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anti-joke teehee

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Freeza: I am the strongest in the universe! (if you ignore my brother Coola which is much stronger and all...) Goku: You have pissed me off now Freeza, I will now turn into a super Asian and prove to the world that real Asians are actually blonde and blue eyed! (I am sure Goku means Sayans, which is "completely different") Goku: HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG! Freeza: Omg, he... he... is trying to take a dump! IMPOSSIBLE! I will have to find his balls and caress them... Will Goku ever take a shit? Or reach all new levels of constipation during the series? Find out in the next episode of dragon ball z!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! That is a joke which very few people would find even mildly entertaining.

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A kid walks into a shop and asks the shopkeeper for a loaf of bread. The shopkeeper says, "White, wholemeal or multigrain?". The kid replies, "No thanks. My bike's outside".

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What's orange and rhymes with parrot? Carrot

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thumbs up!

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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extraction interveal means the opposite of integer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead.

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What happened to the guy who ate the alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He died

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What did one duck say to the other? "Quack!"

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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what did the pregnant mexiCAN woMAN say while she was giving birth? A LOT of curse words

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Why did the milkman wear a white belt? To keep his pants up.

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A man who is down on his luck was told that when one door closes a window opens. So he jumped out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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