I'm gonna put my nut-sack on your drum set

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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i like pie

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Why do Jews hate hitler? They are jealous of him.

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How did Hitler make the world a better place? He died.

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Did you hear about that show where two crazy guy got on stage and the show had to be canceled. I didnt either.

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It was the eve of December and a man was using a blanket why? because it was cold and he wanted to be able to function properly at work so his boss would not get mad at him because he respected his boss and wanted to make him happy

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how do you make a baby float take you foot of its head

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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What do you call a small weapon used by northern russians? A Gun.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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What is the loneliest number to exist? Zero. Except it's not lonely. I'm just saying there are zero lonely numbers. Numbers aren't sentient. They can't feel loneliness.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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here kitty kitty

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Jesus wept.

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all ur antijoke are belong to us or i mean we can share, whatever

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One time, I ate 3 chipotle burritos....after a tennis match

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How do you kill a blonde? Stab her.

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A black man bought a large condom because he has a big penis.

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There was a small boy with a lollipop and a spinning hat. He died of lieukemia.

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I Hear Boston Is having a blast.

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What's the difference between a black man and cake? I like cake.

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YOLO

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Hi Adam,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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