What happens when you put an embryo in a blender? I don't know, I was too busy jerking off.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

How do you fit three gay men on a stool? You don't, that would be very uncomfortable.

I saw a kid watching Harry Potter so I asked him "Do you like Harry Potter?" he replued "yeah" so I asked "do you want to be Harry Potter" he said "yeah"... ...so I killed his parents and locked him in a cupboard.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I got a terminal disease and I'm going to die in six months. Mom if you're reading this I love you. Take good care of Joey.

What's the difference between a duck?

How do you evolve a Pikachu into a Raichu? You use a Thunderstone.

Did you hear about the fetus who met a clothes hanger? I doubt very much that you did.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms.

Q: what do you call someone on Anti Jokes A: Someone with no friends trying to find a funny joke to make friends.

Why are elephants big, grey and wrinkled? Beacause if they where small, white and smooth, they would be an aspirin!!!

Why are all black people considered to be relatively fleet of foot as contrasted to other races? Because their gene pool contains a higher frequency for the traits of low body fat and high proportions of musculature.

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

how do you tell a joke on anti-joke? you don't.

SOCIOPATH SAYS: Bitch, rate all my comments thumbs up, if you do I wont rape you... YOu know unless I feel like, women kinda like it when men are in touch with their feelings... SO yeah... Im gonne touch your feelings ;) Nah, nope, no homo, you a gal? We can meet! Voluntary rape! (No I did not say voluntary sex, rape, you can say the saferword: OMG SO GOOD HARDER HARDER! If I you know... Am about to kill you... Which I will do if we get to that stage anyways... Relax ill recycle you. Moral: NeroMetal Think Recycling! Save our planet! ITS LIKE RAPING AND KILLING A PERSON!

My wife has terminal cancer.

BUT HWY?

What did one platypus say to the other? Whatever noise platypuses make. I'm not sure. I am sure that they lay eggs though.

What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

The white guy did it!

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

What has five balls and hates Mexicans? The lottery.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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