wanna hear a joke? i dont

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Just kidding, he didn't cross the road, he had no legs.

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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An Irish man, an English man, and a Scottish man are standing on the edge of a cliff. The English man and the Scottish man both fall of. The Irish man calls the authorities to alert them of this tragic misfortune.

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Q: Why did you get raped last week? A: Because at night you touch yourself to pictures of rapists.

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How did the blind man cross the road? With the use of a cane and a registered seeing eye dog

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Dani Barton is a stupid GIRL

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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud, and cross back again? Because he was a dirty double crosser

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I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

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joe diragi whacks off his dog

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

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brock has small hands for a small job

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Your mom.

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what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I f*cked your mom You have aids.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Why was the black man running down the street with a suitcase? He was late for work.

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What do you call a cat that gets pushed into the pool? Angry as hell.

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

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How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

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Q: What's worse than getting hit by a bus? A: Herpes, AIDS, Diarrhea, Constipation, Castration, Super Herpes, or the song "Friday."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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