I have a dirty joke. Poop.

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Jim: You wanna hear a funny joke? Tim: Sure Jim: Well, if you want a funny joke, this isn't the place to be.

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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can't you hear that TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT, TOOT Ta TOOT TOOT flute (nicki minaj in a past life listening to a symphony)

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Why did the McCann's parent's leave the window's and doors open? Because Portugal is a very hot climate, And they expected the place they were staying to be safe as lot's of tourist's stay there throughout the year.

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON. And Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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What's worse than finding a hair in lasagna? An earthworm crawling into your ear and feeding on your intestines.

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What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

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A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says, "Why the short face?"

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What's worse than waking up with a hangover? Not waking up at all

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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Q: What's worse than school? A:Your mum dying

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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What red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What did the policeman say to the black thief? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish. If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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