How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

A Jew walks into a bar screaming cause he just broke his face

When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

Why did the crossing guard drop his whistle? Because a kid got hit by a passing elephant.

What is Rebecca Blacks favorite resurant? T.G.I Fridays...

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

What do you call a black person who puts out fires? a firefighter

There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

How does a dyslexic person read the word 'schitzophrenia'? Schitzophrenia. I leid abuot teh dyslxeia.

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

Fine Nero, but I will be keeping an eye on you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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