Why did the chicken cross the road? there were no more cars in the way

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Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

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Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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My girlfriend never swallows; she has a rare esophageal disease that's potentially fatal.

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Why did hitler kill all the Jews? He is racist

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Your momma's so ugly she adopted you because she had a problem attracting men.

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yo momma is so ugly, she is unpleasant to look at!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I.

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YOLO

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Yo momma's so short, it's probably because she's in a wheelchair.

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What do you call an Italian baby born with an extra toe? He was named Vincent Antonio Linguini and has been doing well with six toes.

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Why wasn't the 7 year old boy happy? I shot him

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Have you heard of Helen Keller's dog? No. Neither has she

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A guy with no legs walks into a bar.

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If you helped Jack on the horse, would you help Jack off the horse? Of course; if he was too short to climb onto the saddle then it would be irresponsible and potentially dangerous not to help him off. As his riding instructor, you would be liable for any injuries Jack sustained had he attempted to dismount the horse with no assistance.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What looks like dirt, smells like dirt, but isn't dirt? Fake dirt!!

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Look at my new shoes.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the Long face" The horse then storms out of the bar, wondering why every bartender must ask him that.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a bagel.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt? Getting stabbed.

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What did the Nazi call the Jew? Alex.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was kidding about the wheels.

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Q: what did the hot dog say to the hamburger A: i want your buns

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops