When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Your definitely a virgin, too bad your mom isn't too.

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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their was a black man in my family tree hes still hanging on

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Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds? There's twenty of them.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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What's straight and famous. Ryan Secrest I was just kidding about the stright

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

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You know what turns me on ....? TABLES!! You know what turns me on even more...? TABLES WITH CHAIRS!!!

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How do you stay out of Heaven? you stay alive.

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Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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