Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

why are little kids like tree's? ... they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

What did the black man say to the white man when the white man was drunk and naked on the roof dancing? Quit fucking around Brad and get off my roof or I'm calling the police because this is the third time this month.

A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall? Wally.

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

I pregnant woman wakes in the night because she had a mis-carriage.

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit her in the face with a ax!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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