What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One's fun to hit with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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I obviusly meant: Have you ever seen a cow chasing boots? Because the one with the cowboy chasing boots doesn't make sense...

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the floor. How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail the other one to the floor.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink without making any grammatical errors.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

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Your mom's so fat, she's is bigger than the average person.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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why did spiderman fall off the roof ? cause it was wet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops