I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Why did the man cross the road? His mother had recently passed away after a 12 year battle with lung cancer and is visiting her tombstone.

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Why Do Black People Love Watermelon? Because Its A Delicious Fruit.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? To get his chemotherapy

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Whats funny about a guinea pig water skiing? The part where he explodes.

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What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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What do gamer see in his nightmare? a peasant build 4 houses and gets stuck between them.

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What's blue and smells like red paint Blue paint.

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What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed? Nothing.

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What do you call a black man riding a bicycle? A good citizen who cares about the environment.

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Not gonna tell you, that was one weird story, I feel like super high right now.

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Whats brown and slippery? A brown slipper.

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Why did Jimmy drop his Ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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A guy walks into a bar with a Donkey and a jar full of pennies. He walks up to the bartender and orders ten shots of whiskey. He was found dead the next morning from erotic asphyxiation.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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What's white, black and can't fit through a man hole? A nun with a spear in their head

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The $5.00 Foot-long at Subway's is actually $5.45 due to tax.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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What's big and long? My dick.

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THIS!!!!!!! IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops