Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Joe: Will you remember me tomorrow? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next week? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next month? Mack: Yes Joe: Will you remember me next year? Mack: Yes Joe: Knock knock Mack: Who's there? Joe: See you forgot me already! Mack: No I didn't Joe, I thought you were going to tell me a knock knock joke. :/

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I violate everyone that do not thumb me green, and vi0late the children, the parents, and the person of those that thumb me red... Its not about the sex, its about the domination... You might even like it...Your kids? Not so much... Well sometimes... Green thumb me, and I will... Meh, then you are awesome... friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Subscribe below, address tracker activated... LETS GO!

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

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Faithful men.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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You sick fiend

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Q. What has two legs and is covered in red stuff? A. Half a dog

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Why did a Jewish man have no hair left? He recently got a haircut.

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poop.

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What is the coefficient of friction's favourite band? MU-se. What does the coefficient of friction go to see at weekends? MU-seums. What is the coefficient of friction's favourite hobby? Masturbating violently with a noose around his neck.

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- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

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How do you choke a lawyer? You squeeze his neck until he stops breathing.

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What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops