A man walks into a bar... But, it's not funny because he's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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A jew, a black man, a muslim, an atheist, a christian, a catholic, a roman, a russian, a cuban, an english man, a horse, a cow boy, a gay, a lesbian, a dancer, a teacher, a father, a mayor, a politician and a fish are in a bar. Now that's one crowded bar.

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Diana and victoria

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what looks like a banana, smells like like a banana, but isn't a banana? a fake banana

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. Midgets are capable of doing an average person's everyday task. Unless they have autism, then they might as well die.

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BUT HWY?

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor? Because she had no arms or legs.

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Yah? Well your a ********

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What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

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Whats round, hard, and full of seaman? Well in the context I'm using it in, a submarine, but too the inappropriate mind when spoken out loud, could be registered as the homophone of seaman, semen, which would then lead you too think of male genitalia.

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What do you get if you put a black man in the blender and then in the microwave ? ... I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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My mom touched my wiener : \

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Why does bobby have no friends? He's dead.

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you say "ask me if im a tree" he says "r u a tree?" you say"no..." then just stare at them

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why did the chef go to jail? because he was caught beating an egg

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What did Helen Keller say to her eye doctor? Nothing, she is incapable of speech.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Why did the fireman wear suspenders? To keep his pants up.

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Once there was two fish in a tank, and one said "how do you drive this thing?".

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Bill is walking down the street when a girl who had a crush on him 20 years ago sees him, goes up to him, and says, "I think I know you, what is your name?". Bill says, "Timmy," and keeps walking because he is an asshole.

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What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can finish a race.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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