Why did the boy kill his father? Because he was molesting him.

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What is white, and hurts when it falls from a tree? -tom

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm afraid of toasters.

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What did it say in the end of the book? The End.

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Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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What's worse than a black President... George W Bush

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*Random individual accidentally throws a ball toward another person's head while chilling out with friends* *The ball comes into contact with the victim's cranium- causing him much pain, but not serious detriment.* Q: Are you feeling okay? A: No, I'm dizzy and am currently in very bad shape Response after initial inquiry was articulated: "Uhmmmm...Sorry?" Lesson of significance to be learned from this tragic incident: One's developed, habitual reactions to certain occasions/events of particular interest are virtually always practically impossible to completely override with the means of logic when one is experiencing the relevant occurances him/herself personally. One usually finds it inordanitely difficult to free him/herself from one's regular routines.

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what did the kid say when pee-wee was about to rape him ...huh just make it quick

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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Why did the man mysteriously disappear? Because he was hiding without telling anyone that he was hiding.

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what did batman Say to robin before they got into the car? get in the car

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2 guys are best friends from birth, one goes crazy and kills the others family and feel hatred towards each other for eternity.

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What's the difference between a tube of toothpaste and Youtube? If you squeeze a tube of toothpaste then toothpaste comes out. You cannot squeeze Youtube because it is a popular video sharing website. Even if you could squeeze it, no toothpaste would come out..

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why was the dog barking?? bryan is a douche..... get it troupe.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. The brunette and the redhead escape, but the blonde is captured. Why? Because she had a prosthetic leg sustained from a previous injury, and thus couldn't run very fast.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Have Alzheimers, Cheese on Toast.

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Your momma's so fat...

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What did the one legged homeless person get for christmass? A: Frostbite.

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What's brown and says "Hey, I'm a dog"? A talking dog, able to grasp the English language.

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Once upon a time there was a very lonely man. He was kind, strong, handsome, smart, and basically everything that was good and that a girl wanted. Well, one day, through all his immense loneliness, he decided that it was time that he got into a relationship. Knowing that he deserved a competent and pure woman, he went to a local church to search for his perfect match. That night, he took home with him the most beautiful and purest of all the women in the church, brought her to his room, and whipped out his junk on her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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