women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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an alien is walking down the street he can't breathe our air and quickly suffocates and dies

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar. <>

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey, I am Colorblind...FML

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What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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knock knock? whose there? i dont know. i dont know who? i dont know.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor! Every Time I Drink Some Tea, My Eye Is Really Sore! Doctor: Next Time Take The Spoon Out...

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Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

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Boy: Hey girl see these arms? They are just dying to be wrapped around you! She stabs him dead End of story

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What's the difference between a guy who sees the glass half empty and a guy who sees the glass half full? The first guy is happier because his tables tip more than the second guy's.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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