Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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He--Hey guys

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Whats funnier than watching the kid next to you on the computer? Nothing because he is still trying to figure out that i unplugged his mouse!

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Q:what is long ,black and red but smells like poo.? A:poo from someone dying of bowel cancer.!

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What is yellow, has wheels and lies on its back? A school bus after a horrible traffic accident

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Q: Whats black and hangs from a tree???? A: A tire!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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A lost young boy walks into a bar to ask for a map. The Bartender takes him into a room and rapes him.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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Whats the difference between 2 white men? They both have different jobs and one is racist orange peel.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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Why did Sidney drop her ice cream? A refrigerator fell on er

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What do you call a midget cripple with cerebral palsy? Unfortunate

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What she says: “You’re really sweet, but I have a boyfriend.” What she means: “You’re really sweet, but I definitely don’t want to date you.”

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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