who's getting there balls chopped off by lilly? Nemo

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What would Chuck Norris do if you insulted him? Nothing. He probably doesn't have time for such foolishness.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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What do you call a black guy that has a big white coat, an assortment of knives and a couple of women working for him? A doctor

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What's the difference between a red ball and a blue ball? There both blue but the red one

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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The name "Hunter Barksdale".

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Why is there no aspirin in the jungle? Because aspirin is a man-made drug derived from salicylic acid, and it it is this that is extracted from willow bark, which used to be used by Cherokee Americans as a fever-reducer and pain-reliever.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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why didn't the girl show up for school? because she was dead

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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A man is playing pacman, on his last life, and is cornered. He inserts another coin in the slot.

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Q. How do you stop a clown from smiling? A. You hit it in the face with an axe.

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A bunch of kids are in a treehouse. The treehouse falls out of the tree and kills everyone in the treehouse and the two little girls playing underneath. It was sad.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

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how do you know your sister is on her period? you dads dick taste like blood.

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Your life

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"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

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Why did Jerald heat up pizza? Because he was hungry.

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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