“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Why did the little girl walk into the wall? Because she was blind.

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what do you call one black man surrounded by ten white men.... A story teller

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari ? I don't have a Ferrari in my basement.

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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dyslexic's Untie

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What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

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MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Why are black people black? Because they're clearly not white.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Joseph Fritzl.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex

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What is the difference between John and John Nothing

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How long does it take for a black woman to have a shit. 9 months.

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What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

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"Where's your mom?' "She died last night. . ."

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What did the alcoholic Indian do? Continued to drink and further worsen his people's stereotype.

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So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops