What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer pressure _._._

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is the difference between my dog and my girlfriend? I love my dog

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call an obese kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What word starts with "N" and ends with "R" that you never want to call a black person? Nagger

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between a Ferrari and 50 dead babies? Where the hell would you even find 50 dead babies? That would be really disturbing.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did Helen Keller do at a concert? Sit.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock Knock The door's open, wipe your shoes off on the matt

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colourblind.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops