Where's a bad place to park your car? In a no-parking zone

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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What ryhmes with turtle rape

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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How many finger does a normal person have? 8...and 2 thumbs!!

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Two peanuts are walking down the street. One of them was a salted Peanut

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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Q: What's the meaning of life? A: A bush, have you ever been dragged through one? It hurts.

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what did the bartender say to the customer? a. is it the first option b. is it the second option c. is it the third option.

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wats green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree, it would kill u? a pool table

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Maybe because it had escaped from the farm and as it doesn't have full conciousness, it couldn't distinguish between grass and the asphalt, so it happened to cross the road.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she knew there would be quaffles!

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

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how many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? 2 one to hold the latter and one to put it in

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? She was dead

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Q: What happens when two planes both crush a tower in New York City? A: Bad news.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting black lady. wha....... ehmmm hmmmm!

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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So Nero, seriously, don't be mean, call me, I am going to bed now, nighty nite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops