knock knock *opens door* WE DON'T WANT ANY!

If you have $5 and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris now has $10.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

What do you call a newborn son? The proudest moment of your life. What do you call a newborn daughter? A disappointment.

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

I'm hungry.

a guy was waiting for his date, then she arrived and they went happily to the cinema

What's the difference between 9/11 and Jenga? Jenga games regularly don't kill around 3000 people.

Why did the dog die? He was old

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

What is said about the man who is addicted to online gaming? He plays more than 5 hours per day and doesn't have any social contacts or whatsoever.

Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

I agree Detroit sux. But the bulls suk too ya know

What did the towel say to the other towel? Nothing, there was no topic of conversation.

why did the family have dinner? they were hungry and it was 6:00

How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

What's Pink And Wet? A chewed up piece of Bubble gum.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a penis and a knife choose which one goes in you.

What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

roses are red,violets,are green who tf shit in the toilet?

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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