Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

A bra walks into a dyslexic man.

Q. What time is your appointment with the Chinese dentist? A. 20 past 4

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and bumped his head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be severely mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

knok knok whos there know one cares your gay

What's red and bad for your teeth A brick

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

how do you make jimmy happy you cant he's in a coma

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

How did the lazy fat boy burn a lot of calories? He set his fat friend of fire.

A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...