Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -49

Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

what do you call a guy with no arm and legs laying by the door? Matt! what do you call a guy with no arms and legs floating on water Bob!

thumb_up thumb_down -49

A Muslim walked into a bar. He didn't drink anything

thumb_up thumb_down -51

What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -61

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What happened to the little boy that went to The Penn State locker room? He had a great day meeting the team and watching the football game.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A man walks in to a bar. He gets a cuncussion and his heath insurance isn't enough to cover his physical therapy. He dies poor and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why are black people so fast? They probably practice.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the the dog not eat its food? Because the night before the dog had gotten serious disease and lost appetite

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, the bear turns to the rabbit and says "I have colon cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call a black man reading a book? An avid reader that happens to be black

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops