A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the woman go to the kitchen? The same reason she went to the bathroom, she needed to wash her hands because she was finger painting. Her husband was using the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do u call old black people in a shed? antique farm equiptment

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

that moment when the last few ceral are like "Come on catch me bitch"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was the woman sad on her 21st birthday? Because she was born on September 11,1980

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So this squirrel is walking across the road when a HUGE truck comes and smashes him beneath the tire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple ? Finding out your apple is rotten on top of that.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are niggas Violets are niggas I'm lil Wayne niggas rhymes with niggas

thumb_up thumb_down +1

roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Ben Corbishley

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Mom: Uncle toms coming home from the war Jimmy: What are we going to do Mom: Bury his coffin he hit a land mine .............. Jimmy: ^O^

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops