Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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A duck walks ino a bar...... f*ck this sh*t im going to candy land.

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Why didn't the little asian kid go to his friends party? Because he wasnt invited.

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Q: How do you stop a hijacked plane? A: The plane can't be hijacked because the pilots cabin is not accessable until the plane lands.

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Q: why was the man punched in the face? A: I did like him.

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welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are on a plane. The plan is carrying too much weight, and is destined to crash. They drop the luggage, but there is still too much weight on board. They drop the secondary engine, but there is still too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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How do you get a girls number? Grow some balls and ask for it.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Whats worse than one dead guy? 2 dead guys

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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Mail Man: *Knocks on door* Guy & Girl: WHAT?! *laughing* Mail Man: Mail! Guy & Girl: Hold on she is almost done with the whip cream.

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why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops