A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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Jokes Ki Duniya

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Obama holds the most records for Multikills with Drones. Mu-mu-muuuultiiikilllll.

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Knock knock Who’s there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

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Roses are red. Violets are blue.

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Q:Why did Santa, the tooth fairy, and a rich man jump out of a plane? A: On Christmas Eve, a rich man was skydiving and lost his tooth as he plummeted towards the beautiful plateau.

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why am I writing this...im bored

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What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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Why did the Hispanic man have drugs in his pocket? He had just gone to the pharmacy.

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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hi dave

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was sexually abusive.

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why did the boy fall back wards? he was shot dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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