What do dogs and keyboards have in common? Nothing.

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Q:Why did the boy have no friends A: because Ants are not considered friends

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If you know someone with the last name Schmidt. ALWAYS ask him to take a Schmidt on your chest

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How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

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A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. His family is struggling financially and his children are severely malnourished. If he wasn't an alcoholic, he could afford healthcare for his family and move into a better neighborhood. But he's not, so they will die a long, painful death.

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Penis

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Why was the little boy reluctant to approach his father? Because his father was a rotting corpse.

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What do men and women have in common? no really what do they have in common

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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A man walks into a bar. He has a serious drinking problem and is destroying his life.

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How do you stop a dog from barking? Cut it's head off

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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Two guys walk into a bar, but the third guy is a duck.

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Guy 1: "hey look that homeless guy is riding a bike!" Guy 2 " Ya i know and look, there's a dead pro biker other there"

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What did one sausage say to the other? Nothing. Sausages don't talk...

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what happened at the end of the korean marley and me? dinner

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a stick? One lives and one not.

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Why was the Jew sad Because it was Christmas.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your doctor, You've been diagnosed with venereal disease.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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